Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Good Morning, Love Batman

There’s nothing like being slobbered awake when you’re still semi-conscious in the morning, especially when this face is the slobber source.

Batman began life here fearfully, and I’ll admit that he’s still afraid of some things (stares at the dish washer, TV bunny ears, and garage and everything in it skeptically), but he has conquered some of his fears. He no longer cowers when we turn on the ceiling fan, instead he watches it while glued to my side.

Other big dogs still freak him out. He gave one a piece of his mind while on a group walk when we had to board him last week, and was sentenced to solo walks.

This might have been their conversation:

Big dog, “HI HI HI HI HI HI HI, *slorp*, HI HI HI HI HI HI!”
Batman, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, respect my personal bubble! I bite you face off!”

He later went on a group walk with the hors d’oeuvre dogs, due to a clerical oversight (someone didn’t read the note saying don’t put Batman with the other dogs didn’t they…). Strangely enough Batman didn’t eat a single Chihuahua, Cocker Spaniel, or Heinz Mini Seven. Instead he “made friends” with lots of tiny midget-dogs that he can lord over. I like to imagine that, while we were gone, Batman pretended that he was Willy Wonka in the peanut butter kong factory, and he presided over an army of oompah loompah dogs.

Despite all the fun Batman had while he was boarding I think he was happy to come home. We went for extra long walks, and found a great park to play at and taunt the pit bulls trapped in their back yard watching us. These were disturbingly huge dogs in a back yard that included pieces of busted furniture, but that’s another story…

All was well until this morning. I took Batman outside to “do his thing” after being slobbered awake and noticed a blood spatter on the cement. More upsetting though were the tiny bloody spots on the side of his barrel chest. I wiped them, but couldn’t find a source and went back inside confuzzled (Mary and Max anyone?). 

By this point I was in CSI mode and watched Batman’s every move as though he might spontaneously start spewing blood from wherever it was that he was leaking.

No dice.

As we came inside though I noticed another dried blood spot, and wondered what the heck was going on with Batman. Blood spot (A), led to blood spot (B), to blood spot (C), until I discovered that the Batcave contained more blood spatter than any of the other blood spots combined.

(These pictures don't do the Batcave justice. Take me at my word when I say that there are little dried bits of blood all over the cave walls. Ugh.)

Me, “What in the Sam Hill were you DOING in there Batman?”
Batman, “Slobber you face, I go sun now.”

Batman licked the side of my head while I was still inspecting the blood spattered Batcave. As I backed out I noticed his bloody elbow, and have no idea how he managed to scrape his elbow inside his kennel, let alone rub it all over the walls…

 (Again, you can't see the blood but I promise it was there.)

This discovery led to a full Batman inspection resulting in the discovery of this little beauty.

(The discoloration that looks like a freckle in this photo is actually a warty looking growth.)

After doing twenty minutes of dedicated internet searching I have diagnosed this as either an interdigital cyst or an interdigital furuncle. Since it's "crusty" (gag), I'm guessing that the abscess "popped" (hack), and should heal soon (shudder). According to I should foment Batman's paw humidly or "form a cataplasm of bread crumb soaked in hot milk". I plan to keep the interdigital warty bugger clean until it dries up and falls off, leaving the bread crumb cataplasm as a last resort.
In my expert, non-veterinary/new pet owner, opinion the only logical conclusion is that one of Batman’s oompah loompah minions contracted a demon. Thus possessed, the tiny whatever-it-was attacked Batman, scraping his elbow and giving him scurvy/the warty growth between his toes.

Sooooooooooooo, that was my morning, I hope yours goes much better and involves a minimum of blood spattered furuncles. Batman is sunning himself, and I’m off to clean his cave. 

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