Not so Hallmark

£7 well spent

I promise I eat vegetables, occasionally, and fully intended to order a salad at the cafe today, but my resolve shattered when I saw a man at the table next to mine get this delicious eggs benedict for lunch. This cafe experience was rather uneventful in comparison. It was a newer cafe, more space, and much fewer people, but made for a pleasant experience since I could read and enjoy lunch peacefully.

The really exciting portion of my day came when I visited a card shop looking for something to send family for Easter. For those of you in the states the card shop looked a bit like a Hallmark store, aka pilgrimage site for worshipers of Thomas Kinkade, from the outside. However, card shops in the UK include an interesting twist. Naked people on cards. Real naked people on cards, and cartoon people on cards doing more scandalous things. The pictures below came from an entire row in the store exclusively of naked, or nearly naked, people. Enjoy!

Old naked people cradling each others' bums.

Young naked people cleverly covering the important bits with musical instruments.

Hairy man-butt and MASSIVE wedgie. As a disclaimer, they're playing rugby, nothing else, the flash just happens to be in a very inopportune spot.

Naked retirees golfing.

Naked retirees waxing their classic car.

A group of headless naked people. Note the kiddie card of cute frolicking kittens next door.

I couldn't include the cartoon cards here, but I will describe them. One included a man, in various states of undress, flashing. Another cartoon man is with his friend at the spa getting a massage. His friend lays in the massage chair correctly while the other cartoon man is flipped around so his man parts dangle through the face hole. His friend is quoted as saying, "It's the other way around." You get the general idea of these cards. Here are some more cards that I can show on this website.

Proof that there were benign flowery cards at this shop, and it wasn't some kind of sex shop.

Pwned

Saucy duck.

This visit taught me a great many things about people in the UK, mainly what they enjoy laughing at which includes: naked people (particularly older naked people), dirty cartoons, hairy man-butt, and talking animals. British authors such as C.S. Lewis and J.R. Tolkien taught me to respect talking animals, and this Londoner card shop made it very clear that you can laugh at them to.